This is a struggle my husband and I are going through. We have 2 perfectly wonderful great children. After have the foster kids in our home, we are not even sure if we want more children due to so many reasons. Here are some that we have come up with:
- Added Stress
- More mouths to feed
- The expense alone is much more
- Jealousy of time between children
- Harder to get places or do anything
- More householdchores
- Pretty much more of everything
- Sibling Fighting
- Less time with each child
We have always desired a large family, but yet we have found one struggle after another. From having a hard time getting pregant, to the miscarriage, to the pre-term labor. Now we have a really hard case which was supposed to be an adoption case. However is a reintergration case. Wow, after writing all of this, no wonder my heart aches. I had always dreamed of being a large christian family full of love and compassion. Maybe I wasn't supposed to feel this way. Maybe this my own desire and not God's. How do I know? I know that I hate living month to month wondering am I pregant. I hate the hoping and then finding out no, again!!! So maybe its time for a new chapter in my life. Almost everyone around us is saying you have 2 beautiful children one boy and one girl what else could you want. Well maybe I should feel this way. The hard part is I am starting to fall in line with this thinking. My husband is so burnt out from this case he has pretty much given up on all his dreams in regards to having more children. Thats what saddens my heart the most. Hearing him, after all he was the one that kept saying he wanted like 10 kids. Now he is saying enough is enough.
The thing that looks the most appealing to stopping would be we would never have to move. We probably will not outgrow this home. We could get rid of all the baby things I have been holding on to. We possibly could afford college for the two of them. Get debt free a whole lot sooner. Its hard because almost all of this is materialist. I know materials do not bring happiness. But the stress of being wall to wall furniture and living on top of each other. And all the FIGHTING drives me crazy. So where do we go from here. I do not know. I feel like I am sitting on a fence waiting for the wind to push me one direction. I do not want to make a rash decision, yet I do not want to forget this crazyness and end up in the same position again. I really don't know if I could manage having a large family. Maybe that is why all of this is happening. Maybe I would go crazy or something.... Who knows.... I just wish I knew where to go from here.
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1 comments:
We had 2 beautiful children and it really pressured me when people assumed that we were done. I knew we were not done, and I did not know whether that meant 3 or 4 children total, but for us, I definitely knew 2 was not the end.
Follow your heart. Don't let others pressure you. I do feel considerable pressure for having more than 2 children, but I know that is what is right for our family.
One thing that might make things more manageable in the future is by getting kids 1 at a time, they can integrate into your family more easily, and possibly with a little less stress. I would focus on 1 or 2 at a time next time.
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